From the “Are You Kidding Me!” File. Drunken passenger banned by Delta Airlines after bragging about poisonous gas.

29 05 2011

In  twenty one years of flying I have seen some crazy things and heard some amazing stories. I should not be surprised when I read something like this: Drunken passenger banned by Delta Airlines after bragging about poisonous gas.

Yes I know alcohol was the lubricant that got this story rolling but seriously how stupid can we humans be? You don’t have to answer just read on and enjoy a laugh.

A man has been banned from flying with Delta Airlines for life after allegedly telling the passenger sitting next to him that he had a canister of poinsonous gas on him.

He said the gas was strong enough to make everyone on the plane pass out. Bryan Sisco, 40, forced the Dallas to Atlanta flight to be diverted to Memphis where was arrested by police. After spending four days in custody, he was released on a $10,000 bond and charged with carrying a weapon or explosive on an aircraft.

Mugshot photo of Bryan Sisco, who has been banned from Delta Airlines

Sisco, who had been drinking Jack-and-Cokes before boarding the plane, tried to flirt with 23-year-old Danielle Valimont, who was sitting next to him.

He had decided to sit down in a random seat and she happened to sit next to him. He offered her chocolates and told her he was an architect and a flight marshal.

When the flight attendant and another passenger tried to claim the seat, Sisco said he and the woman were newlyweds, the Memphis Commercial-Appeal reports.

In a drunken attempt to impress her, recently-divorced Sisco allegedly pulled out a butane lighter and then bragged about the gas.

He said: ‘We were talking, sharing M&Ms, eating chocolate, having a good time. ‘I fabricated some truths about myself … I thought we were getting along pretty good.’

In a blog Miss Valimont said that Sisco was ‘jittery’ when she sat down and within a couple of minutes, she texted ‘I’m sitting beside a crazy man.’

He then reportedly said to her: ‘Have you ever wondered if someone could get something on the plane they weren’t supposed to?’

She claimed that he opened his book bag and pulled out a silver metal torch-like item and put it near her leg.

She wrote: ‘He clicked a button and a 4-6 inch blue flame shot out … I acted as if it was no big deal, though my heart was racing. ’”That’s cool – what else do you have?” I said. He opened his bag and pulled out an item that looked similar to the end of a headset and told me it was like a tazer and could cause temporary paralysis.’

When Miss Valimont picked up the cylinder Sisco was carrying that he had said was architectural drawings, he apparently said it was a canister ‘filled with gas strong enough to make everyone on the plane pass out.’

Miss Valimont then got up and headed to the bathroom where she typed on a note on her iphone and showed it to a flight attendant.

The note said: ‘If the guy in 20D is a Marshall disregard this msg. He has a torch that he lit and showed me. ‘And he said his canister has a gas device that will make everyone on the plane pass out if there is danger. ‘He also has a device that says is like a tazer. I will go sit back down. Do what you need to.’ The pilots then diverted the plane and police dressed as paramedics came aboard to arrest Sisco.

He had fallen asleep and had no idea he was the cause of the ensuing drama.

Miss Valimont wrote: ‘When the officers came on board he was completely shocked and they were able to escort him off without resistance.’





Passenger, Single-Handedly Joins Mile High Club

24 05 2011

Kyle Pearce, United Airlines Passenger, Single-Handedly Joins Mile High Club, Is Arrested – AOL Travel News.

According to an article on AOL Travel News (See Above Link) a passenger on a United Airlines flight from Spokane to Denver apparently had the urge to Walk the Poodle. After Caulking the Cracks the passenger made his way to a lavatory to tidy things up. At least one passengers was quoted that they thought the Phallic Flogger was stoned. I don’t know I might be crazy but if I saw a seated passenger Rubbing One Off I seriously doubt I would come to the conclusion that the dirtbag was ”stoned on marijuana,”

In all the Stoner Lore I have heard over the years, Boxing The Clown does not rank high among the stories told. Munchies yes, Waxing The Bishop no!

A word to the wise: A loaded airplane does not make a good Spank Fort. If you ever find yourself unable to control an urgent need to Butter The Bagel at least wait until the seatbelt sign is off, make your way to the nearest lavatory and Beat That Monkey for all its worth.






Fat Man In Training: Day Four

20 05 2011

Fat Man In Training: Day Four

Three days ago I started on a journey, a journey I have started many times before but never seem to have had mettle to complete.  For years I have wanted to get fit shed a few pounds and occasionally a shirt on warm summer days without the fear of small children trying to toss me into the nearest lake chanting “Free Willie.”

As usual the first few days started out with high expectations an endless supply of energy and enthusiasm.  I was eating nothing but healthy foods in proper proportions. I was diligent in carving out an hour or so of time each day to get a run and a lift in to burn off unwanted calories.  It is day four the enthusiasm and energy levels are on the wane.  Little sleep, sore over worked muscles and a sugar craving is presenting a formidable challenge to my day.

The battle over sugar may have already been lost. The Edmonton Days Inn has a chronic absence of healthy food.  In fact the only “food” to be found at the Days Inn is located on the third floor and requires Loonies. With only minutes before the hotel van departed for the airport I made a quick run to the Canadian oasis of health, Tim Horton’s, and grabbed a quick coffee and a Boston Cream filled doughnut. Food Fail.

I am holding out hope that between flights I can find something healthy to eat before heading down to Austin TX for the night. I still have my sights on shedding two pounds this week. Despite the Tim Horton’s setback I believe I can find a working treadmill at the Austin Best Western Plus and burn off a thousand calories.  If I can’t work out the exercise equations than shedding even two pounds will remain elusive.





Day One

17 05 2011

It sucks when you get older and try to “Get Back Into Shape” How many times have I said today is the day only to find myself sitting in front of the TV stuffing my face. Well today was Day ONE in a long line of day one’s. The goal is to get to next monday (One Week At A Time) and drop a mighty two pounds. Ideally I would like to string about fifteen “one week at a time” together and drop about 30 pounds.








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